== START LUDE: Is it baked or roasted? == Morning has come once again to Tenkali, and the morning rains have passed on, but the air is still heavy with the aftermath, and the smells of the jungle are everywhere. However, for Feray, it is another morning filled with the odors of the healer. More ointments and powders and bandages. The sun has begun to peek through the dark clouds and is poking into her room, as if inviting itself. * Feray reclines back on her cot, pale, with some bruises from the fight with Jiandir over her body. Moreover, she looks more tired and weak than actually in pain. She huffs in tired annoyance once and attempts to find a comfy spot on the lumpy mattress. (m) Damnit, what do they have...little gnomes under the mattress that shift to dig into all my sore bits whenever I move? As Feray flops about on the cot, her ears pick up the sound of someone walking up to her door. Oddly, there is a long moment when nothing else happens, then finally there a tentative knock at the door. * Feray arches an eyebrow and raises her voice to normal level, though it breaks at the end. "ComeE--.." * Feray coughs hard and growls. Come in. * Nathan opens the door slowly, then moves inside and shut it behind him. He looks rather comical in all the patches and bandages slathered all over him, a result from the earlier battle. * Feray blinks and utters a low laugh. "Ahhh! It's the mummy of the Tenkali!" * Nathan looks down at the floor, "Can I talk to you for a moment?" * Feray blinks at Nate oddly and shrugs a shoulder, flopping back onto the cot and squirming a little. "Uhun." * Nathan takes a few steps forward, then kneels down in front of Feray, his eyes still on the floor, and his hands on his legs * Feray 's annoyance and cheer fade, replaced by concern. She squirms herself over to the edge of the cot and forces herself up once more onto an arm, drawing in a steadying breath as she watches Nate be generally unNateish. "What's up..?" We had a warrior's agreement, but I wasn't there when you needed me to be. * Feray grunts a little, her annoyance flickering back into her gaze but she shakes her head. "Things changed, that's all." I let an ally down when I was needed. This is unnacceptable where I come from. So I came here to ammend for my actions. ...? Amend? But.. * Feray blinks a little, taken off guard. ^^; * Nathan starts to tremble slightly as he continues, cutting Feray off, "There is only one way a mer can ammend for such a crime, so I am here to do what is demanded of me." * Feray stares at Nate in confusion ^^; * Nathan tilts his head back, exposing his neck and throat to Feray, almost in a ritual-like manner. "I place my life in your hands." * Feray stares at Nate some more, not moving. ^^; * Nathan closes his eyes, trying to be brave, but his trembling betrays him * Feray pushes herself off her cot, stumbling a little before straightening. She strides to Nate, placing a hand on his hair. "This is important to you, huh?" * Nathan bites his lip before answering, "Yes." * Feray stares down at Nate, her thoughts jumbled now. She furrows her brow. "So what am I supposed to do with you exactly?" * Nathan takes a shuddering breath before speaking, "A mer who exposes his throat to one he wronged expects only one of two things. To be forgiven, and have his throat ripped out so he can die with honor. Or to be spat on, and condemned to live with the shame of his actions." * Feray blinks and a sudden anger flares in her eyes. Tell me something, Nate...do you merfolk genetically have cotton in your heads in place of your brains? ...it is the way we have always been. It how we do things. You know what we 'savage' and 'cruel' surface dwellers call what you did? Ingenuity. Which, by the way, is something to be respected and not something to rip someone's throat out over. * Nathan lapses into silence, shutting his eyes tighter * Feray exhales hard and threads her fingers in Nate's hair, tilting his face upwards. * Nathan continues to tremble in Feray's hands, not yet opening his eyes, but its clear that tears are beginning to well up in them I'm not going to do either. Do I have a third choice, one that involves you not dying and not being horribly guilted for the rest of your life? * Feray scans Nate's features, chewing her bottom lip as her anger drains away. I...I have given you my life, what you do with it is for you to decide So get up and stop this, because I don't want your life, your life is your own, Nate. ^^; * Nathan tightens his fists, unable to look Feray in the face * Feray releases Nate's hair and turns, hobbling back to her cot. She braces her hands on the edge, closing her eyes and grimacing quietly to herself as a shockwave of pain slams over her. * Nathan is so wrapped up in his own thoughts he misses Feray's grimace. "So what happens now?" You get up and go get a drink or something? I don't know. You could try stop feeling guilty because things worked out and I'm not angry with you? * Feray trembles, her voice soft and thready. She lurches a little against the cot, muscles shaking. She bites back a yelp and instead forces herself back onto the cot. * Nathan slumps his shoulders, and his body untenses. He gets back onto his feet, still looking at the floor. * Feray flops onto her side and coughs softly, grimacing as blood flecks onto the bedding. She curls a hand into her hair and tugs slightly to try and focus on that instead of the pain inside. * Nathan turns and makes for the door, quietly. * Feray 's voice is ragged. "Nate?" * Nathan stops, but still doesn't dare to look back, "Yes?" You never told me that you could become a giant crabman thing either. * Nathan winces before responding, "...no. I did not." * Feray exhales a little as the pain fades gradually. She turns to eye Nate's back. "Why?" ...because I was afraid to tell...everyone * Feray rests her head on her arms and murmurs tiredly. "Why would you be afraid?" * Nathan visibly fumbles for words, "I was...because you...this group, you're all I have left. And if I lost that..." * Nathan finally starts to cry, "I don't know what I'd do." * Feray gazes at Nate's remote form and idly wishes furiously she could move to comfort him....but her legs have stopped working. "Why would you lose us? I mean, okay, sure...it was...unsettling but honestly, we're not so narrow minded as to shriek and wave our hands at you and say 'Ew! He's a giant crabman! Icky!' and shoo you away." I just...I mean... C'mon, Nate...you know better...you honestly think we'd push you away? You're a good man...crab...merperson. I....we care about you too much to be swayed by something like this. * Nathan slumps down onto the ground, looking at his shaking hands What's wrong with me? Nothing makes sense anymore... * Feray reaches out a hand, as if wanting to touch Nate somehow, and then tugs it back with a soft sigh. "The joys of living topside, I suppose.." I... * Nathan blinks some tears from his eyes, and stands up awkawrdly I should go. You're probably very tired * Feray watches Nate, frowning.. "No..." * Nathan reaches for the door, but is stopped by Feray's voice Alright, Nate...see, now the tables are turned....because now you have two choices. You can stay and talk to me or you can run and hide. * Nathan drops his hand to his side A mer is supposed to fear nothing...so why am I so afraid to be near you now? * Feray blinks a little. "Near me?" Looking at you, or being close to you...I'm afraid. And I don't know why * Feray adopts a playful tone. "Must be my shining beauty and cutting wit. Of course you fear me." No, you've always been beautiful and witty * Feray blinks, a bright blush working itself over her features and she backs her ears, left wordless. * Nathan fumbles for more words * Feray clears her throat softly. "Ahem. Well, I don't know...maybe.. uh....maybe you're afraid of me dying?" No, I know that everything and everyone dies in their own time...but... I...I'm... * Nathan narrows his eyes a bit, having found the words at last, "I'm afraid of you not being in my life anymore." * Feray arches an eyebrow sharply. "....well...that's...understandable.....we are pretty much best friends..." ... ...aren't we? * Nathan nods, but still looks upset and confused, "Yeah, we are." * Feray attempts to ignore Erel's voice in the back of her head and murmurs softly. "So of course you're afraid of me not being around anymore..." * Nathan presses his hand to his chest, "So why does the thought of losing you make me hurt inside? Fear is not the same as pain. That's what I don't understand." Well of course it hurts...death is pain...for both parties involved...the ones departing and the ones staying.. * Nathan shakes his head, "I've seen many die in the past. Friends. Family. Associates. Even complete strangers. Its just not the same somehow." Not in here *points to his chest again* * Feray opens her mouth and closes it, unsure of what to say. She shakes her head before speaking finally. "Maybe...maybe you.." * Nathan screws his palms up into his eyes, grimacing * Feray laughs lowly to herself. "Maybe you've got your first taste of a crush." * Nathan finally looks at Feray, "A what?" A crush. It's like...uhm...it's like when you find someone attractive and you wanna be with them, you wanna spend time with them and such.... * Nathan doesn't seem to understand, "So how do I get uncrushed?" * Feray snorts softly. "You...don't? Or it's not something you can control really. It fades with time or grows." * Nathan almost chokes on the word, "Grows? As it gets worse?" * Feray waves a hand. "I wouldn't worry about it growing any." * Feray notices she can finally move her arm. She brightens. So what do I do in the meantime? Oh sure, like it's horrid to have feeeeeeeeelings for me. Hmph. ;) * Nathan blinks, then wideeyes Wait...you mean...that I...and that...so then...? * Feray blinks as well and looks scared, forcing her voice to be suddenly serious and a little aloof. "It's just a crush, Nate. Nothing more." It'll fade, you just have to keep going day to day. * Nathan finally puts the pieces together in his mind * Nathan suddenly looks haunted * Feray drops her face into her arm and mentally swears at herself. So...all I have to do is wait, and this 'crush' will go away all by itself? *muffled* Sure. I'll probably have to....well, yeah, sure. What was that? * Feray lifts her face from her arm. "Yes, I said yeah. It'll go." ...and what if I don't want it to? * Feray pales a little. "Of course you want it to." Why? B-b-be... * Feray stutters. ^^; Because! I'm -dying-? Because you're a merperson and I'm a Lainian? Because.. * Nathan looks at Feray, then down at the floor as she speaks * Feray trails off into silence. How exactly does that change things? I knew all that already before this happened * Feray grits her teeth. "Because if I die......../when/ I die....no, I won't do that to you." Won't do what to me? What are you talking about? * Feray pauses a little and shakes her head. "Nevermind, Nate..." ... * Feray sighs tiredly and drops her face back down to her arms, unable to gaze at Nate anymore. * Nathan looks up from the floor, his eyes cold and dark, and stands up again, making for the door * Feray nuzzles her arms frantically, eyes closed tight, and tries to tell herself this is the best move for them both...her voice is muffled, soft and sad... "..I'm sorry..." So am I * Nathan opens the door, exits the room, and closes it behind him without a word == END LUDE! It was all burnt and cruchy! ==